1bigblackblog

FOUR FLUSHER

the train leaves martinez on time. six fourty eight.
i take a window seat. within an hour the gentle back
and forth swaying puts me to sleep.
at fresno two young men sit in the opposite seats.
josh introduces himself and his pal jimmie.
they are students at fresno state travelling to watch
the yankees play the angels in anaheim.
both are life long fans from jersey

at hanford i step off to stretch and look around.
it is very hot very humid. next stop corcoran. there
a middle age man gets on. he asks if the seat next
to me is free. i say yes. he sits and places a black
briefcase in the space between us. " the name's father dan.
pleased to meet you " he is wearing a colorful shirt

father dan opens the case and takes out a bible
a pint flask a deck of cards and sets them on the
center table. he reads a bible passage to himself and
removes the flasks cap " to our health gentlemen !"
he takes a swig. jimmie and josh look at each other.
father dan says " love the sinner and hate the sin "
i laugh. he recaps the flask puts it back in the case
and says " judge not lest ye be judged "

as the train pulls into wasco father dan smiles " will you
young men humor an old man and play a card game ?"
before we can answer he removes the deck from its box
shuffles it three times and deals us five cards each.
" we'll play four flusher a simple child's game " he says
while arranging his hand and nodding at josh to start

after several rounds there is an announcement
" ladies and gentlement we will be arriving at bakerfields
in thirty minutes. thirty minutes to bakersfield ".
father dan takes his turn and says " young men i am
going tell you a secret ". he smiles and lowers his voice
" gentlemen once you reach fifty years of age
make love to a young woman every full moon "

he takes a photo from his shirt pocket and sets it
on the table. josh picks it up whistles then passes it
to jimmie. father dan says " that's tiffany. i minister
at the prisons. coalinga corcoran wasco. up and down
the valley. but every full moon i'm in bakersfield "

jimmie gives me the picture. she is pretty and blond
and is wearing a short purple skirt and nothing else.
wow ! father dan " she's seventeen. we go walking
in the hills. hold hands. cook food. listen to hank williams.
and fuck and fuck and fuck. but i'm thinking of stopping
until she's eighteen ". jimmie grins

i say " father you've got to kidding. you've already
robbed the bank and now you don't want to spend
the money ! what's up with that ?" father dan slaps
the table and laughs " hey that's a good one !
never looked at it that way. i want to remember that !"

the train begins to slow. there is an annoucement
" ladies and gentlement we are entering bakersfield
station. please check the overhead compartment and
beneath your seat for all baggage. we are now entering
bakersfield station. the last stop "

i look at my cards and take my turn. father dan is next.
he studies his cards for a moment and places them all
on the table. diamonds. eight through four. josh whistles.
father dan smiles broadly and leans back in his seat

" four flusher !"

THE WEIGHT OF A FEATHER


brothers and sisters despite the atomsphere of forboding
and dread like a moody blues song

"....breathe deep the gathering gloom watch lights fade
from every room red becomes grey yellow turns white
we must then decide which is right
and which is an illusion...."

brothers sisters do not give up the ship until youve gone
ten fathoms to the gates of hell and are looking into
the devils blood red eyes

here is the reason why

i exited the orange line bus and walked towards
sepulveda. a few feet in front of me was a woman
with long braided hair and wearing a pair of green
khaki shorts that hugged her hips very tightly and
those hips swayed in a manner that reminded me
of tomtom drums in the deepest darkest heart of africa

i was hypnotized and mesmerized and though she
appeared quite young there was no way her body
was going to go uncommented on

" well hello beautiful! " i said

she giggled then said

" hi "

i thought to myself ' steady as she goes daddy steady
as she goes ' and replied

" let me ask you a question and
i want you to reflect on it a moment
before answering as it is the existential
question of our age "

she laughed and said

" okay "

i continued

" how did you get to be such an
incredibly beautiful woman ? "

she laughed and giggled and thanked her mom and god
and we chitted and chatted while awaiting the bus.
as the bus pulled up i thought to myself

' has the good lord delivered a little lambskin to
the big bad wolf ? ' then said

" listen darling i have a follow up question
' how can a beautiful young woman like you and
a handsome man like me become lovers ? "

she thought for a second or two and
looked in her purse while saying

" well i guess i'll give you my number and
you can give me a call and we'll see "

you could have knocked me over with a feather !

" ORALE "!

lucio's brother ruben had bought a quarter of a freshly
butchered pig.their mother and oldest sister and wife
made pozole. it was really fucking good !lucio ruben
their youngest brother ernesto and myself are sitting
on folding chairs beneatha shady tree in the rear yard
drinking beer. paulino enters the yard from
the kitchen door and yelps " orale "


we look at him. he is wearing a tee shirt that has black
white and bright green and blue horizontal stripes.
ruben sets down his beer and says " cabron ! what
the fuck are you wearing !?" we laugh and howl.
ernesto says "muchacho who is dressing you ?
tu madre or tu espousa !?" we laugh some more.
paulino drags a chair over and takes a beer from a case
sitting on the lawn. he opens it and says" salud amigos !
chinga tu madre !"

ruben looks at paulino and shakes his head.
the metal floding chair creaks as he lends back
" once upon a time after mining a shitload of silver
you would come back to the camp and sit around
the fire with your amigos. your hermanos. you would
drink nopales wine and smoke marijuana and eat tacos.
tacos de tripitas. later when you are feeling good you
would point your pistola at the sky

" el caballo ! POW ! "

el gallo ! POW !! POW !! "

el toro ! POW !!! POW !!! POW !!!

cabron !!!! POW POW POW POW !!!! "

ruben drains his beer bites into a lime and looks
at his brothers myself and then paulino
" hombres look at us now ! paulino is dressed like
he is a fucking contestant on sabado gigante !
how the fuckdid this happen!? " we laugh and hoot
paulino takes a drink of beer " amigos ! chinga tu madre !"

SPAYED AND NEUTERED


i am going to reveal to you

and you only

america's best kept secret

the beach extending northward from from venice
california to a mile past the santa monica pier is one
of the most serene in the world. during the day you
can enjoy bright sunshine ocean waves and a beautiful
view of nearby mountains. at night stroll along
the shore beneath a silvery moon and admire the
colorful lights of the pier's ferris wheel and roller coaster

but what really makes it special is whether you
are beautiful woman or handsome man no one will care
because desire, the source of all societal ill,
has been extinguished

i am revealing this to you alone so make sure to cross
your heart and promise not to tell a soul

in younger days a series of circumstances took me away
from all of this and i led a life of riley wandering around
the world. on various pacific islands i would be asked
if i had made love to a south sea girl

hula !

and my dear friend let me tell and confidentially
inform you that in the realm of asian sensual offerings
from japan to thailand to india and beyond all that
can be said is

om !

travelling onwards you finally enter the deepest
darkest heart of africa and observe the swaying hips
of colorfully clad market mamas and understand
why rhythm began there

rhumba !

sailing across the atlantic deposits you in latin america
where you will experience a sexual culture of rooster
and hen that extends from argentine pampa
to mexican sonoran desert

ole !

back on that beautiful seashore where once you could
feel these excitations and get those good vibrations
a new culture has emerged. the american man and
the american woman have evolved. he and she have
become something different something new

something spayed and neutered

well there you are. america's greatest secret revealed.
so make sure you remember on scout's honor
and your mother's grave, it's mums the word !

THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL


i have just returned from a camping trip and
my friend i highly recommend such an excursion.
fresh air is breathed. forest and trees are seen.
wildlife is observed. there were hot springs to soak in
and a swimming pool for splashing about. but very best
of all dear reader there was a wide variety of people
available for social interaction and on my last night
the following occurred :

i spent several hours with dawn a fascinating woman
who has her head in the clouds. while laying on a carpet
of fallen leaves i proved that i am the greatest writer
no one knows and we sang beatles songs and watched
the wind cry mary as it passed above

evening brought thoughts of food and i said lets go to
the kitchen and cook. she agreed. as we entered the
hot springs area dawn met a friend. once introductions
were made i went to prepare dinner. a simple meal of
white rice celery garlic carrots and lots and lots of
olive oil spiced with hot chiles

my prescence in the kitchen caught the attention of
svetlana. a beauty from belarus whose voice reminded
me of natasha from the rocky and bullwinkle show.
i invited her to join me. she accepted. i sat a large plate
on the communal table removed the top from the
cooking pot inverted it over the plate and shook it

the aroma and sight of food brought oohs and aahs
from others at the table. i told them to join us.
havad a lovely armenian woman possessing sad
yet seductive eyes and simon a guy who looks like
peter falk of the colombo teevee show came over

the usual chit chat ensued between mouthfuls of food.
asked what i did for a living i conspiratorially said
i could not tell because its a pop secret. but as
a consolation i offered that in my spare time and to pass
the day i am the greatest writer no one knows

svetlana laughed then asked if i were joking. i replied
that unlike the man who will tell her he is a producer
and can make her a starlet i can prove what i say.
at that moment dawn arrived and joined us. with a
proper audience of three woman and one man
i recited a tale that quite impressed everyone

later svetlana asked my opinion of obama. i put my arm
across her blond hair covered shoulders and said
that after obama is elected all foreigners are going to be
sent out. but i will declare her my mistress and give
her father a federal contract to paint the white house black

i pointed at simon and said since he is as cool a guy
as colombo i would make him our driver and valet and
told him to practice saying " yes sir bossman "
needless to say a very good laugh was had and
the ice was thoroughly broken and evaporated

after eating i suggested we go splash about in the pool.
the lovely havad and beautiful svetlana enthusiastically
agreed. since clothing is entirely optional we tossed
them onto a poolside bench and jumped into the water.
a full moon peeked above the forested hillside and
the night air was warm

first svetlana then havad backstroked to and fro as i
bobbled up and down watching and thinking.
thinking that after a night like this what could be left
in life and that when back home i should get a syringe
full of heroin and say good bye cruel world

why ?

because after the experience i described
nothing remains but the downward spiral

" HOORAY ! HOORAY !"


" oh i wish i was in the land of cotton

old times there arent soon forgotten

look away look away look away to dixie land "

a great american classic quite a shame it is ignored.
but it lives on in indonesia for the following reason :

it was a morning in late december of 1989.
my assignment completed i am travelling fourth class
on a pelni ship from pulau flores to pulau sumbawa.
after showering i return to my space on the communal
bed. a man wearing a sleeveless white shirt black
short pants and holding a baby is seated across the aisle.
he looks at me and says " hey american sing us a song !"
i laugh and say i cannot sing. he replies
" i see on television ! every negro american can sing !
sing a song for us !"

i look around. the steerage cabin is a cacophony of
every type of sound. no one will hear me. i stand in
the aisle and begin to sing " dixie " very slowly.
carefully pronouncing each word and syllable.
with closed eyes i imagine sitting in a mississippi bar.
there is a confederate flag on a wall and a man stands
in front of it loudly and emotionally singing

" i wish i was in dixie hooray ! hooray !

in dixie land i'll take my stand

to live and die in dixie !"

customers let out rebel yells and wave their arms
in the air. the bartender shouts " my great great
grandpappy lived and died at sharpsburg ! drinks on
the house ! drinks on the house everybody !". he walks
along the bar with a bottle of whiskey filling shot glasses.
approaching me i notice tears running down his face.
he tops up my glass and says " drink up brother !
drink up for dixie !"

i finish singing and open my eyes. the indonesian
cacophony has ceased and there is crowd around me.
though surely no one understood what i sang about
they are very impressed and numerous offers of food
drink and a place to stay in sumbawa are made.
i am asked to sing it again and again with everyone
pumping arms in the air and shouting
" dixie " and " hooray ! hooray !"

and that my friend is how " dixie "
came to nusa tenggara indonesia

MOODY BLUES

" breathe deep the gathering gloom

watch lights fade from every room

red becomes grey yellow turns white

then we must decide which is right

and which is an illusion "

the doom

i crossed broadway. the tailor was standing in front
of his shop. " good morning my friend " i say.
a meandering conversation ensued. he said that
the lord is returning really soon.

i suggested if that is true we should hire a couple
of teenage strippers and get an eighth of grape ape.
" lets go out with a bang !" i enthusiastically say.
his reply was the lord isnt about that.
disappointed i said goodbye and return home

the gloom

it is a trip of fifty minutes. mare island is passed.
two bridges are sailed under. there is seating outside
at the rear. fresh morning air sea birds and other
passing ferries can be enjoyed. a superlative view of
san fransico awaits

once docked a procession of well
dressed and well fed men and women exit and march
through the arrival hall. unsmiling and unspeaking
they appear to be going to judge and be judged

the tomb

an ex wifee of mine sells high end real estate and
these are challenging times. she had a medical
emergency and is concerned. i tell her if she thinks
she is about to knock on heavens door then sell
everything and take a long holiday

i say " go to the greek and turkish islands.
enjoy yourself with tanned beach boys and men
with thick mustaches. frolic under olive trees and
get romanced on deserted beaches ".
she said it all sounds good but she is too distracted
right now

COOL TO MY TOUCH


on an uncontrollable impulse or an overwhelming
whim i left my home. after a two hours drive i am
at her house and in her bed and she is now snoring
contendedly and loudly

i take the remote from under my pillow and click on
the teevee and push mute. the charlie rose show is on.
two men are seated at a circular table with mister rose.
i slightly raise the volume. they are discussing
global warming

one of the guests has a greyish ponytail. he is speaking
in an emotional manner and uses both hands to
emphasis a point. he says the artic and antartic are
melting. the glaciers are shrinking. the polar bear
and penguin are in dire straits. we must act immediately.
he pauses to take a drink of water

mister rose turns to the other man and asks his opinion.
this man says that if global warming is real there is
nothing that can be done. he then gives an example :

" a block of ice is removed from a freezer and put inside
an oven which is heated to one hundred degrees.
the ice begins to melt. the heat is turned off. the ice
keeps melting. it is taken from the oven and placed
back in the freezer. the ice continues to melt for a period
of time before refreezing "

he then explains the problem with the idea of global
warming is that even if you bring all industrial activity
to a halt, how do you lower earth's temperature
enough to refreeze the artic and antartic regions ?
he says there is no solution and that we would do
better by getting as much enjoyment out of life
as possible and turn a negative into a positive

i click off the teevee and toss the remote onto the carpet.
" hey babe wake up " i say while reaching over to
squeeze her right thigh and gently bite her neck
" babe wake up. we've got to turn a negative
into a positive !"

A BEER REFRESHING


when i was ten or eleven or maybe nine there was
a television commercial for a beer called hamms.

a bear is canoeing down a river
there are trees and hills
indian tom toms are rhythmically beating
very pleasant voices begin to sing

" from the land of clear blue water

comes a beer thats cool and so refreshing

hamms "

i remember my parents and their friends, roy and irene,
sitting at the dining room table. i watch as irene sips
a beer. it is hamms. she asks if i want a taste.
i look at dad. he tells me to go ahead it wont kill me

irene hands me her glass. i shyly put it to my mouth
and drink. i make a face ! it tastes horrible !!
i quickly return the glass to irene.
she roy mom and dad have a good laugh


....the answering machine startles me. it must be two
or three oclock. i reach for the phone. its trish and
its only ten thirty. she reads recently written poems.
she talks about her week. her daughter visited during
memorial weekend. she wore an obama tee shirt

trish doesnt understand why. she was for hillary.
she doesnt care for her as a person. but bill clintons time
was one of peace and prosperity. that is what she wants.
" its what everybody wants " she says

she had been a journalist. travelled through and
worked in fourty five states. she insists obama will not
be elected " the manipulation is right out in the open.
everyone can feel it "

trish gets especially angry if rascism is claimed.
she says that after eight years of bush everyone can
clearly see the manipulation " that is what people
are going to vote against. the manipulation "