1bigblackblog

WALTZING MATILDA


raymond and brigit are cuddling at
one end of a red crushed velvet sofa.
camilla and vernon sit entwined at
the sofa's other corner. i am on the floor
kneeling in front a crate of jazz albums

vernon's mom, mrs matilda, and his
stepfather, mr redding, work until evening.
so after ditching school with camilla and brigit,
exchange students from norway, the five of us
are in vernon's room.

on a glass coffee table is a shoebox lid with
a handful of grass and several used and unused
hand rolled joints. theres also an open fifth of
johnny walker scotch, black label, and a pitcher
of iced tap water and several glasses.

suddenly the door to vernon's room opens
and there is mr redding. he looks around
the room then says " what in the devil is this!
what kind of monkey business and tomfoolery
is going on in my home!! "

vernon, raymond, their girls and myself are all
speechless. mr. redding puts his hands on his hips
" i just said what kind of monkey shines are
occurring in my house!! " he notices me and sees
his record collection " boy, what in the devil are you
doing in my records!! " i try to speak but can only
shake my head from side to side

turning his attention to the coffee table he looks at
the grass and starts to speak but stops when
he notices his bottle of scotch " what in the blazes
is my bottle of johnny walker doing here open
and half drunk up!! "

completed liquored and toked up, first brigit
then camilla burst into hysterical laughter.
mr redding shocked looks at vernon and says
" well if this ain't a mighty fine day in the garden.
my liquour's drunk up, dope is smoking in my
house and half neked girls are fornicating and
having a laugh at me in my own home!! "

vernon sinks down into the sofa, i'm frozen
in place and raymond is trying to shut brigit up
while camilla laughs on. mr redding bends over
and picks up a joint, looks at it for a moment
then says to vernon " boy i am going to smoke
this here funny cigarette of yours. and if i dont
get a feeling to go out of this room and give
a damn good rooting to my wife, i am going
to beat your ass today tomorrow and the day
after tomorrow!! "

he grabs a books of matches from the table
strikes a match, lights the joint, takes five huge
inhalation therapy sized tokes and holds on
to his breath for what seems like a minute.
exhaling mr redding looks down at camilla's
mini skirted legs and then turns towards the
open door

" dad, where are you going? "
vernon drunkingly asks. mr redding
points his left left index finger at him
and wickedly says

" i am going to fuck your mother!! "